i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
