it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
