How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
