I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
