There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
if only i could text you this smell
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
How does one acquire holy water?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
