'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
