There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
