You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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