i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
