I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
