so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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