Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
