It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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