he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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