I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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