Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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