I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
now i know why i became what i already was.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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