This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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