To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
This is my gift to your gina
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
