I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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