Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
