Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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