I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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