He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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