i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
