I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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