before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
