So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
