ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
