This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
