I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
