He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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