Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize