I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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