If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
