I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
