i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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