FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
