we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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