babies were throwing up all over the place
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
even my farts smell like vagina
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Can I color on your dick again?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
