Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything about him screamed your future.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize