If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We need to get me chipped asap
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
