I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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