**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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