I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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