Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize