and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He called his prostate his "boner button".
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My feet surprised me
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
