Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
