Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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