Swine flu. Run for my life!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Drunk is a universal language darling
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize