at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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