I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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