Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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