You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
