her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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