Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
