The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
NoShamevember. You game?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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