Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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