Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
