smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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