But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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