i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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