you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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