My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
